Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
