I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
