what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
