I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
