Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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