paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
