My cat gives me a boner
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
