I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
