i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
