Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize