People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
