So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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