i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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