I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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