he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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