He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
