She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
