dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
