I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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