Don't you send me to vm
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize