I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
