I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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