I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
