Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
