glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
