PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
