Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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