Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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