based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
