i may or may not be watching the land before time
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
