he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
