with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
