I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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