Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
