I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
