Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
