Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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