Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
