Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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