he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
