Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Of course I have a pirate flag
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Randomize