a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
