I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
