how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
