clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
as a side note pls kill me
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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