Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
How does one acquire holy water?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
last night I used snow as a chaser
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
