how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
