So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
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