the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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