Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Semen is not good for contacts.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
