Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
