I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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