let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
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