How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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