i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
